Hi Aubrey,

Our vet said that boys in general are more malleable and generally get along more easily than female cats. So a male kitten is even more so and will just do whatever the older female wants. We hoped that if she pushed him around, he wouldn’t have a problem with it.

We quarantined Henry in the bathroom for the first week. Alice (who is 3 years old) and Henry would smell each other from under the door during that time. She hissed at him through the door, and they would meow at each other.

When we let them mingle freely, it was only while we were home and we did this for two weeks. Alice did not like Henry — at all. Sometimes I thought it was funny how much Alice did not even wanna be in the same room as him. She did pee on our rug (thank goodness it was just a rug!), then we would wash it, put it back down, and she would pee on it again. Sigh.

At this point, sometimes they lay near or touching each other, but it’s never snuggling like you see in those freaking adorable pictures across the interwebs. They do fight-play still but we’re told that’s normal and even expected. I think it may go a little too far at times, but I’ve never felt like they would ever draw blood or anything. They eat
at different times even though we feed them at the same time. They share
toys but don’t play with the same toy at the same time.

My vet told me that if we are serious about wanting a new cat, then we have to expect they will never be more than roommates (if they end up loving each other then it’s a bonus but don’t expect it).

I am happy we did it. Henry is a simple minded (read: stupid) kitten but is the best snuggler. Alice is incredibly smart. So much that often I feel she’s a reincarnated human, and is judging me. I love them both and I like to pretend that they get along while we’re at work.

To answer your question about the spraying/liter box: Henry was neutered at 6 weeks. He is 8-9 months old now and we haven’t had a spraying problem yet. When Henry first arrived, we put a small uncovered liter in the very bottom of a shelve (one of those ikea expedit 2×4 shelvers) we have in our bathroom and it went well. Alice has always had a covered liter box, and when they started sharing it, I bought a larger covered liter box. We haven’t had a pee problems with Henry but if we don’t scoop on schedule Alice will not hesitate to let us know by peeing on that dang rug.

Obviously, all cats are not the same and this is my experience. We honestly ruled out ever getting another cat but we had two separate conversations with our vet that gave us hope. Also, we bought one of these: http://amzn.to/RNw3Bs We plug it in the room that Alice spends most of her time. We noticed it works because she used to attack our ankles like a little vampire if we did something that didn’t like. This and other behavioral differences made us a believer.

Sorry for my novel of a response. If you end up getting a second, let me know how it goes. And send a photo of that kitten!

~steph